....you just KNOW who she's gonna blame!
Rabu, 31 Agustus 2011
I just reflexively capitalized the word "anthrax"
I'm still pretty rock & roll, I guess.
(Do it with Cannibal Corpse too)
When I die....
....I want to be memorialized on my third cousin's rear window.
You know, the one that drag races in the city streets and flees when the cops come.
Selasa, 30 Agustus 2011
Totally psyched to experience California with this new California Whopper!
Freaking here goes!! Yeah, surfin' safari!!!
Hmmmm.
California is bland?
Michigan blows away California!
(not moving)
Glad to see no reported looting during the hurricane!
Now anything going on is plain old "shoplifting".
The best guy on the conference call?
The "no-life-outside-the-office" guy who has one more question (for now) which has already been gone over anyway.
"Don't worry, guy! It's not like it's past 5:00 or anything!"
I send that Paranormal Activities final scene "death-bolt" through the phone your way!
An old person beat me to the pharmacy window!
You bet I was running!
I just immediately called in the prescription to another pharmacy and left.
How's your day going?
Senin, 29 Agustus 2011
Michael Vick just got a 6 year contract!
That's 42 in dog years.
Unless they are hung or murdered.
By a person.
I got new brakes on my car!
I was just driving at lunch.
I was like the king of stopping!
No one has ever done it better!
Wondering if I'm cool enough to live in a loft
If the owner/seller took paypal, I might give a try.
A conventional mortgage does not seem cool enough for a loft.
Minggu, 28 Agustus 2011
There was this meth addict screaming/crying/fighting outside our neighborhood Walgreens
But there was no reality tv camera crew to record it!
What a waste!
20 minutes from "intensive care"!
"Oh, they just put these things on ladders to protect themselves from lawsuits! The sign industry is in this scam too!"
This Food Network "cooking challenge" was on while I was doing other things....
....and I was kind of half-listening.
One of the finalists who appears to be Hispanic says she wants to win "for her race". Later she says people in her neighborhood "don't want to do anything".
Gulp!
The other finalist is white and obviously cannot say he is playing "for his race" and makes no comments about people in his neighborhood being hard-working people or anything. Of course, he completely loses the sympathy factor. Where's the level playing field?!
Makes me wonder if AC DC's "Back in Black" would have sold so much if they called it "Back in White".
They weren't dummies.
(Guess who won)
Sabtu, 27 Agustus 2011
My sister in Virginia emailed that she got to the supply store a little late
Apparently all they had left were brillo pads, picture hangers and shoe stretchers.
I told her by all means SNATCH THEM UP!
You never know!
(She used her debit card)
These weather forecasters seem VERY impressed with this "storm surge"
Well, maybe.
But until some Orcas get washed ashore, I am emphatically NOT impressed.
Sorry! Different standards here.
In the men's room in this place....
....it smells like cooked food!
Freaked me out! Could not process this.
So I left.
Not the only game in town, you know.
That guy on the football special teams squad....
....that tells the kick off returner to take a knee in the end zone?
I could do that.
A wise man said....
....the key to life is loving others as well as yourself and being open with your heart to others, and yourself too. Always. With yourself and others. Enemies too. With the heart and mind.
Or something like that.
Actually, the dude wouldn't shut up!
I think people were just listening because he was sitting "indian-style".
Jumat, 26 Agustus 2011
Don't worry!
They always weather the storms!
Hey, they survived that massive embezzlement thing from the hamburglar a few years back!
Kamis, 25 Agustus 2011
Warren Buffett invested $5 billion in Bank of America?
Well, if he can get a working pen at every counter, I'm down with that!
Oh, and why again do banks need "greeters"? Now THAT is really pushing this luddite to more on-line banking!
Glad I came in the office today!
Or I would have missed being asked to sign a birthday card for someone I met once years ago!
I don't put smiley faces on it or anything. Just my name.
But that's just me.
Rabu, 24 Agustus 2011
All those public service announcement commercials advising to "Drink Responsibly"
How does that help the economy?!
BIG PICTURE PEOPLE!
If they're the "Greatest Generation"....
....why can't they take a turn at more than 3 mph?
Just sayin'.
This new study says co-inhabiting parents are a detriment to a child's upbringing
"Hey, add a marriage license to your unhealthy relationship! Do it for the kids already!"
Selasa, 23 Agustus 2011
Just talked to my sister in Virginia
She told me she knew she was near the epicenter of the quake when she saw those concentric circles.
She said it looked just like a rainbow!
Her next step?
"Stop, drop and roll"
Still waiting for the tsunami....
....but I am starting to feel like Linus in the pumpkin patch about now.
These binoculars on the beach don't work so great in the dark!
Just found my favorite pen....
....which rolled out from under my desk in the earthquake!
So cool!
Thought it was lost forever!
When people say "You know what?"
I say "yes".
Stops them in their tracks!
Just avoided another dull monologue about their cat's myeloma.
It's the little things that help you get through the day, you know.
Senin, 22 Agustus 2011
I used to think I liked Triscuits
Then I got the "Hint of Salt" stuff.
Now I know it is just the salt that I like.
Process of elimination, you know.
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